Feminine 101

In January 2024, I began a “health journey.” This is to share where I came from, what I’ve achieved, and how I got from point A to point B. Please note, I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, or any other sort of health professional. I’m just a woman who took her health in hand and made some changes. If you wish to start at the beginning of my story, you can click here.

You’ve probably been there. In the back of your mind dwells a nagging instinct that you need to do something about your weight. If you’ve ever been overweight, you know what I’m talking about. For ten years, I stifled it, knowing that sooner or later, I would probably have to address my “weight problem.”

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Unfortunately, the very fact that I thought of it as a “weight problem” belies the real issue. Weight is the measurement of gravitational pull on an object. It’s a measurement of something. That number on the scale is NOT the problem. It is merely a symptom–albeit the most aggravating one. So long as I thought only of the symptom, the more insidious and problematic issues go entirely unaddressed. 

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My sweet husband and I went for a walk in the country one evening. On our walk, we encountered a fallen log. On impulse, I hopped up on the log and balanced as I walked nimbly down the length of it before hopping off. He smiled and said, “You don’t do things like that anymore.”

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“Like what?”

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He shrugged, “Like be that playful. You’re too dignified.”

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I appreciate that he didn’t say “old” or “fat.” However, never one to shy away from self-examination, I could see that my lack of athletics was less about being dignified and more heavily (See what I did there?) influenced by being nearly forty and borderline obese. I have always told my husband that it really matters to me that I stay mobile. The thought of barely being able to walk, or not being able to get around is appalling to me. I like to do things! So, this thought joined the nagging “weight problem” in the back of my mind. 

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Sometime after that, I had my blood pressure taken and, although neither the doctor nor the nurse said anything, I decided to look up the numbers while I was waiting. I was higher than normal, not by much, but my first thought was: what did I expect? That joined the “weight problem” and “waning mobility” marbles as they rattled around in my head. 

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Later that year, I was helping an elderly relative who had been diagnosed with diabetes that had severely damaged their vision. It’s rampant on my dad’s side–I think my great grandmother lost both her feet to it–and my mother, in her seventies now, has also been diagnosed. My brother was diabetic in his forties. 

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And there was yet another issue that was becoming  more and more pressing. Until my first pregnancy, I had never had heartburn. But, with each one, it grew progressively worse. By this time, when all these other issues were coming to a head, I had been dealing with severe acid reflux for years. I started on Tums and graduated to more intense medications. I was taking the knock-off version of Nexium daily and had been for over a year while supplementing with soda water (plain baking soda stirred into water) when that medicine was not enough. When, prompted by another relative’s serious hiatal hernia, reflux issues, and pre-cancer esophageal polyps, I asked my doctor. She suggested “unhelpfully” that I try losing weight. 

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In January of 2024, those marbles were starting to drown out everything else. Why, you ask? I was set to turn forty within the year. I was on the downhill slope and none of these issues will improve by accident. If something doesn’t change, I will be a diabetic by the time I’m forty-five. My feet are already sore all the time so how long before my joints start to deteriorate? High blood pressure is inevitable in my current state and I don’t want to be on medication if I can help it. Unless I make serious changes, my body will decline. My bones will get weaker without intentional bolstering.

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I love to hike, ride horses, off-road, and generally do active things. Every extra pound makes those tasks incrementally more challenging. How long before my age compounded with my weight to create serious health issues that I could no longer ignore? It was only a matter of time. 

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Also, my belly kind of looked gross. Ew. I have never been one to look in the mirror and hate what I see. It is what it is and I work with what I’ve got. I have features I like and ones that fall into the “needs improvement” category. Rarely, do I judge my appearance as a thing of which I should be ashamed. However, seeing pictures of myself, I remember thinking, really? How did I not notice that’s what I’ve become? Someone should do something about that. 

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Standing on the precipice of middle age, knowing that you’ve peaked, that your strongest years are over, is a sobering thought. It’s not like my life was over. But, from here on out, every improvement will be an act of sheer willpower and determination. If I have problems now, they will only get worse unless I take deliberate steps to change course. If I wait any longer, I’ll be paddling upstream to reroute. I had to take stock. It was no longer a problem for another day. Something needed to happen, now.

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I have a mobility problem.

I almost have a high blood pressure problem.

I likely have a blood sugar problem.

I have a serious heartburn issue.

I will have a bone problem.

I have a strength problem.

I have a weight problem.

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All of these are metrics. The measurements are symptoms. Mobility is a metric. Weight is a metric. Blood pressure and blood sugar are metrics. All of these are results, symptoms of the real problem.

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So what is that?

To continue this series, click here.