Feminine 101

In January 2024, I began a “health journey.” This is to share where I came from, what I’ve achieved, and how I got from point A to point B. Please note, I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, or any other sort of health professional. I’m just a woman who took her health in hand and made some changes. If you wish to start at the beginning of my story, you can click here.

I would be lying to you if I said there were no setbacks or roadblocks. I definitely encountered my share of challenges and losing weight this way did come with some costs. It would be unfair to you to hide these. Also, it may help you deal with them, too. Just knowing what to expect can help us cope with issues that can arise. However, I will warn you, if you are easily disheartened, it’s okay to skip this post. 

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People are discouraging and they tend to make off-handed comments that disparage you, though usually not on purpose. I dropped the first thirty pounds in three months. I heard several times: 

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“People who lose weight really fast never keep it off!” 

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I don’t know if it occurred to the people making these sweeping statements that they were giving me a virtual slap in the face. I had lost weight really fast! I had created a plan that was very effective at meeting my goals. And here was some poor fool telling me that I was doomed to fail. Ugh. 

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I lost count of the times that someone–generally someone overweight–would observe my weight loss and launch into all the things I should try and all the things they would do to drop pounds. It’s like the poor man telling the wealthy man how to invest his money. That is not to say they don’t know what they’re talking about–really, we all know how to lose weight–however it’s hard not to look at them askance and wonder why they aren’t losing weight.

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When you experience success, it makes people uncomfortable with their own lack of success. It makes people feel like failures for not accomplishing the things they want. Success standing next to failure creates a stark, awkward contrast. So, if you accomplish something, be prepared for the people around you to be unintentionally discouraging. They don’t mean it. They are discouraged themselves, so I urge patience and compassion for them. You know how hard it is. 

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I knew that loose skin would be a thing. I was big enough to begin with, that I expected it. That does not help much when I observe the “melting wax figure” in the mirror. Seriously, my legs are great! They’re slender, toned, and a little lotion after a shave makes them uuhhmazing. But travel north about 8 inches to my thighs, and the trouble starts. The tone is lost in wrinkles of excess skin and some remaining fat. My belly button is hiding and the only way to find it is to dig or stretch my back way backward. My arms are toned, but lifting them reveals hanging folds of skin that are a reminder of what I allowed myself to become. 

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I knew that my chest would get smaller. I’m still the same cup size, so proportionally they are the same, but mass-wise, they have suffered. Also I now require a full coverage bra because they flow out of anything less like…do you remember gak? Like that. When I lean forward, they are a little like deflated balloons. 😑
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I am now cold all the time. Admittedly this might have something to do with perimenopause, but it has become a serious thing since I hit the no-longer-overweight mark. To be fair, I tended towards being cold before. But my husband said I am turning into a lizard because  my body seems to genuinely struggle to regulate my temperature. So, I wear sweaters and dress in layers. I keep my slippers nearby and my husband wears a sports jacket when we go out because he just assumes I’ll need it. 

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Finally, my hair started thinning. This was probably a nutrition issue. So I have since pushed my protein intake, started taking a collagen supplement as well as a multivitamin which has helped. Still, it was discouraging! Are you trying to improve yourself and make positive life changes that will impact your health and wellbeing for years to come? Here’s a giant slap in the face! Maybe you should rethink all this sacrifice you’re making because, would you prefer to be fat or bald?

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I don’t tell you this because I want to discourage you. I tell you this to equip you. We think that successful weight loss is all positive change, but there are costs to it and we should be prepared to meet those. Instead of throwing up our hands in frustration and being done, we need to meet it with calm determination. Meet it with an attitude that seeks solutions. 

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Are people discouraging you? Practice grace. Understand what your success says about them and have compassion because you were probably in their shoes once. I can imagine that I was the worst! 

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Is your belly fat looking like melted cheese? Invest in some shapewear or start saving for a skin removal surgery. 

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Are you losing gobfuls of hair at a time? Start doing some research or ask a doctor. Usually, there is something that can be done. 

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Ultimately, we would do well to adopt the United States Marine Corps motto: Adapt! Overcome!

To continue this series, click here.