In January 2024, I began a “health journey.” This is to share where I came from, what I’ve achieved, and how I got from point A to point B. Please note, I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, or any other sort of health professional. I’m just a woman who took her health in hand and made some changes. If you wish to start at the beginning of my story, you can click here. Full disclosure: the image is AI generated.
Goals?
As long as it takes.
It’s been a year and a half now. I started my journey nineteen months ago. Time is the real judge of success. Many people have lost weight. Many people have lost significant amounts of weight. Many people lost weight participating in various diet programs and methods.
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Carnivore. Keto. Low Carb. Weight Watchers. Jenny Craig.
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Okay, I know I just dated myself, but you get the point. There are a thousand ways out there to lose weight. I didn’t do any of those. I couldn’t see myself sustaining any of that for the rest of my life. I want to be better off for the next thirty years, not the next twelve months. I chose steps that I felt were realistic and fit the world in which I live. So how did it go?
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Well, Christmas was tough. I love to bake and, darn it, I’m good at it! Putting a plate of Christmas goodies on the table multiple times during the season, creates an impact. Naturally, I packed on about seven pounds. After that, we went into our busy season at work and it was the most stressful one we’ve ever had. The ninety mile commute alone was killer, but getting home late at night and leaving before the sun comes up every morning is a wrecking ball to your nutritional health. It’s not like I had time or energy to meal prep. Despite my best efforts, I added another four pounds to the afore-mentioned seven.
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When the season ended, I started looking for ways to shave it off, but could not find the rhythm of success from only a year before. How could I have forgotten so quickly? Had I really learned nothing?
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Then we went on vacation. We ate out every day. I know we all know that American portion sizes are insanely huge, but seriously! I employed some tactics that kept the damage to a minimum and saved our wallets, too. However, when it was all said and done, another three pounds came home with me.
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Sigh.
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Somewhere in all of this a woman in my circle was visiting with me about weight loss and mentioned someone else who had lost a bunch of weight subscribing to Weight Watchers. Unfortunately that gal had stopped the program, probably due to cost, and gained it all back. Was this woman intentionally trying to discourage me? I don’t know. I tend to assume carelessness over malice. But still. Could she not see what I was trying to accomplish?
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I happened across a couple of YouTubers, whose messaging I very much needed to hear. You can blame not losing weight on all sorts of factors. At the end of the day, though, it’s a simple matter of math. You are not running at a consistent calorie deficit. I was not running at a calorie deficit. Oh, I managed to get my weight back down after vacation by three pounds. That wasn’t really hard, but the scale was not moving. Or, every time it did, I found a way to sabotage my progress in short order.
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We went out to dinner. We got invited to a barbecue. We went to an event. Sometimes I just wanted a piece of cake and thought, I’ll just nibble a little bit. Then I’d eat the entire slice–-all 400 calories of it.
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I tried setting a time limit for my goals in an effort to inspire me like it had before. But I kept changing the date, moving that goalpost further down the road knowing it was not going to happen. I also had to acknowledge the fact that I had never actually reached my original target weight. I remember looking at my goals, rereading the things I’d written. And then I looking at my “days left” count down. I deleted it. Then I typed something else.
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“Days remaining: As long as it takes.”
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Missing a deadline doesn’t mean I’m going to quit. While the timeline served a purpose before–a way to measure my success–it does not get to name me a failure today. Perhaps I should, but I don’t mark failure by missed deadlines. The only real failure is quitting. And I will. Not. Quit. I will keep fighting the good fight, the fight for my health, well-being, confidence, and awesome figure for as long as it takes to get there. And, when I get there, I will keep fighting for that hard-won health, well-being, confidence, and awesome figure for however long it takes. Because there is no going back for me.
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I don’t care what anyone says, how many Christmas cookies I bake, or how stressful our work season is. My life will not be determined by such things. Oh they’ll be a part of it, certainly. You can always find a critic, a delicious morsel, and a hectic season. There will always be excuses. But those don’t get to determine who I am, how I feel, or what I look like. I’ll do that myself and not by accident. I will do so on purpose with intention. I will find a way.
Feminine 101 