Feminine 101

In January 2024, I began a “health journey.” This is to share where I came from, what I’ve achieved, and how I got from point A to point B. Please note, I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, or any other sort of health professional. I’m just a woman who took her health in hand and made some changes. If you wish to start at the beginning of my story, you can click here. Full disclosure: the image is AI generated.

Can you hear it? I couldn’t. But I do now. 

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As I listened to more weight loss podcasts and read the comments, I kept coming across the phrase “food noise.” Frankly, I had no idea what that meant. Food noise? But I’m not as young as I used to be so maybe it was just a catchphrase that’s popular with the yutes. 

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I also kept hearing Liv Schmidt talk about being calm and not obsessing. Now, apparently Miss Schmidt is a controversial influencer, but who isn’t these days? Really. I’ll admit, it was hard to get past the valley girl vibe and the way she poses for the camera constantly. But I’m also not afraid to admit that I have picked up some serious gems from her and am truly grateful. I even bought a pedometer so that I can know I am getting in ten thousand steps. I was all along, but now I know it. Something Miss Schmidt repeats constantly is being calm and not feeling bloated and listening to your body. I mostly wrote that off, instead snatching up tidbits about drinking hot tea with honey for dessert and taste everything but eat nothing. 

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I’m all about useful information and those practical tidbits fit the bill. I went to a church picnic, where I put a serving of every dessert on the buffet on my plate. Then I brought it back to my table to share with my family and friends. We were able to sample everything, and they could go get the thing they liked best, while I didn’t have to eat it all. The peanut butter cookie was the best, if you were wondering. 

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The real gem, and the one that has been a game changer, though, is the tea. See, tea is hot. I know, ground breaking stuff, right? But seriously. You know what you can’t just chug quickly? Scalding hot tea. You know what you have to sip slowly? Scalding hot tea. You know what you do when you have to take time to drink scalding hot tea? Listen to your body. Think about how it feels. 

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After dinner, one night I wanted dessert. I’d baked these yummy Chocolate Chip M&M blondies and I kind of wanted one. I decided to make myself a hot lemon tea with honey first. That particular evening was hot which, you’ll find is relevant. I got about three quarters of the way through my tea before I looked at my husband and said, “Well it worked. I don’t want dessert anymore.”

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My husband saw the look on my face and said, “You don’t want that anymore, either, huh?” 

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And I didn’t. It was too hot. So I put on my sneakers and went for a walk.

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I went to a Chinese buffet at the behest of my teenage son. Now the last time I’d gone, I had overdone it, but I thought maybe this time I could keep myself under control. I got a couple of crab rangoons, a chicken skewer, and a spring roll which looked awfully sparse on my plate. But I ate them. I thought that I’d probably like another plate. First, though, I ordered a pot of hot tea. While my son ate his second plate, I slowly sipped two small cups of tea. I didn’t even sweeten it because I really do enjoy a good cup of tea. When I was done, I went for a second plate. My servings were smaller than the last time, and I didn’t finish it all because I was, amazingly, full. 

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For years I have been inundated with food. I remember losing weight after my second child. I counted calories and ran four times a week successfully peeling off thirty or so pounds. But, always, the question was about how much food I could have. I remember the Christmas where I gave in to all the goodies and “enjoyed” them. And when the holiday was over, I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. I didn’t have the strength to withstand my cravings or tell myself “no.”

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When I started down this path again over a year ago, I did my best to make sustainable changes. I really didn’t want to go back. I didn’t want to wear out. And I knew, to some extent, that constantly telling oneself “no” is not going to work forever. Because eventually you just want a doughnut. I knew, without knowing what it was called, that “intuitive eating” was ultimately the goal. 

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But food is loud. Having to prep and plan every single step of the way is exhausting. And punishing oneself by saying “I’m only going to drink liquids today,” in response to overdoing it yesterday, is a losing strategy. Don’t get me wrong. That can and does work, particularly after feast days like Thanksgiving or vacation. As a regular practice, it is doomed to fail. The Oreos are calling. The leftover lasagna is calling. The ice cream is calling. The restaurant is calling. All of it has something to say. And you can’t shout it down forever. 

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On a weekend double date, I went to a pizza place. I have a soft spot for pizza, both literally and figuratively. It doesn’t matter if it’s frozen or wood-fired. I love pizza and can eat a lot of it. I made a specific plan of how much I would eat, and that I would eat slowly. My friend ordered a Shirley Temple and, thinking that sounded good, I did, too. I ate my pizza slowly and stuck to the amount I’d decided on. And I drank the whole drink. It was fine. I had the caloric room to do so, and actually logged another pound down the next morning. But, when I laid down that night, I felt–not bad–but odd. It felt a little like I could have had heartburn if I’d eaten just a little more. It was super subtle. My body was not shouting at me. My stomach didn’t hurt and acid wasn’t working its way up the back of my throat. 

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But I heard it.

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I knew that drinking the entire sugary beverage was too much. I knew I could have stopped at half and gotten a glass of water. I ended up drinking my husband’s water, anyway. 

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The next day, I decided to have a slice of my birthday cake (I froze the leftovers in individually wrapped slices). I sat down to eat it–I had the calories to spare so it had nothing to do with numbers–and ate the whole thing. I knew I should eat half of it. I ate it out of the container it was frozen in so, in the moment, I didn’t have the willpower to stop. But I knew.

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And that night, my body quietly told me it was too much. Again, I wasn’t in pain or sick. I just felt..different. And I heard it. 

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The following day, my husband took me to my favorite restaurant. I was careful to enjoy, but also pay attention. And I was successful. Afterward, I considered getting something sweet at a coffee shop drive-thru. But then I remembered my body and its quiet warnings. So we passed. 

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That night my body was silent. I guess it figured I had heard it the first–okay second–time. 

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It’s like seeing food from a ten thousand foot view. For the first time, I am learning to be quiet and think about my food. Sitting at a table with a burger and fries in front of me isn’t loud anymore. As someone who has been a very fast eater all my life, I now intentionally go slow, focusing on taste and texture. I swallow the entire bite before even picking up the next one. I put the sandwich down between bites. And now I know that eating the whole thing, while not the end of the world, is usually too much. When I get down to about the amount I intended and still feel like more, I interrupt it. Sometimes that means getting up and physically leaving the table–a bathroom break or refilling my water. When I come back, it’s quieter and I can hear my body telling me I’ve had enough. It’s a much more calm way of viewing food. It lacks the frantic quality that has driven me to spiral before.

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Food noise is the clamor for your attention, for your cravings. In the midst of weight loss it’s constantly asking “can I have this?” or “can I have that?” It’s loud. And it tends to drown out your body. Now sometimes your body yells back. Ever eaten so much you feel sick? Ever had heartburn after a big meal? I have. That was my body screaming that I needed to stop. For years I did not listen. I ignored it while I did the math on how many calories I would need to save for dessert. I ignored it when I got tired of that. I have ignored it for nearly all of my life. 

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But I’m listening now.

If you wish to keep reading about my weight loss, click here.