The internet is rife with bad advice. I figured that the wisdom of Solomon has aged well enough. It just might do someone some good. I invite you to comment your own questions or link bad advice you’ve seen lately. Perhaps the ancient proverbs have something to say about it. Images are generated by AI.
A fool’s anger is known at once…
As promised before, there are different kinds of anger. Our last post focused on the slow burn, continual churn of grudge-bearing anger. This post, however, is going to focus on the other variety.
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Years ago, I was working at my computer. We are gamers so my husband ensures that my gaming PC is consistently up to date and of a decent quality. It is a PC, though. In those years, it had a nice, easy access power button right on the front. The button was about shin-height for me. As I was saying, I was working on my computer one evening. My daughter, at the time only a toddler, was playing by my chair as I worked. Suddenly, mid-work, my screen went dark.
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Immediately I shot a look down at my daughter who was straightening from where she’d bent over. I snapped her name before I fully realized she bumped it entirely by accident.
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Tears welled in her eyes and she started crying. Loudly. And then, by the grace of God, a proverb that I had read at some time past echoed across my mind:
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“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
-Proverbs 15:1
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I could see that my carelessly “harsh word” had yielded a very natural result. My child was stirred to tears by being upset. Yet, even as the ancient Solomon succinctly diagnosed the problem, he was offering a solution:
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“A gentle answer turns away wrath…”
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If I really think about what I want in my children, I want to train them the way they ought to behave. In the above-detailed scenario, the ideal solution is that my toddler would learn to play further from the power button on my computer so she doesn’t hit it by accident. I can convey that gently. And, to do so, would avoid the meltdown that ensued after I snapped at her. While, in parenting and in life, there is a place for sternness and maybe even a show of anger, often, a gentle word will yield better results. Solomon tells us that:
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“A hot-tempered person stirs of strife,
But the slow to anger calms a dispute.”
–Proverbs 15:18
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There is that strife again! We saw what it leads to and just how destructive it can be in the last lesson. But this talks about someone who is slow to anger. I would even suggest that the person who is “slow to anger” is not someone who doesn’t get angry, but rather is slow to show it. Solomon agrees:
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“A person’s discretion makes him slow to anger,
And it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
-Proverbs 19:11
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Discretion means that someone is prudent, particularly in how they communicate. Translation? They don’t have a big mouth. And it serves them well. Because, while someone might be angry, keeping a tight lid on that is, as the wise king says, his glory. It reflects well on him, always. Have you ever seen someone who was slighted and let it go in order to serve a greater purpose? I do this in my marriage all the time. I mean, I could get angry and make a stink about something, or I could just assume that my husband who stood before a church-full of people and vowed to love, honor, and protect me for as long as we both shall live probably still loves me and didn’t mean it the way it may have sounded. And it is my glory to not get offended. I guess I could, but King Solomon would rightly call me a fool:
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“A fool’s anger is known at once.
But a prudent person conceals dishonor.”
–Proverbs 12:16
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And
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“The one who is slow to anger has great understanding,
But the one who is quick-tempered exalts foolishness.”
-Proverbs 14:29
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That person who can’t keep a lid on it, who blows up over the smallest things, who loses their cool at the drop of a hat? That person is a fool. They’re ignorant, short-sighted, and impractical. They lack understanding and celebrate the fact. There is nothing quite so cringe-worthy as a fool who brags about their stupidity.
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We are warned by Solomon to keep such people at arm’s distance. Do not bring them into your inner circle, or you’ll find yourself emulating the same behaviors.
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“Do not make friends with a person given to anger,
Or go with a hot-tempered person,
Or you will learn his ways,
And find a snare for yourself.”
–Proverbs 22:24-25
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So don’t be a fool. Master your anger. Speak peace and calm to those around you. It’s a high bar but one worth aiming towards. You just may find that it elevates you to interesting heights:
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“The one who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
And the one who rules his spirit, than one who captures a city.”
–Proverbs 16:32
Feminine 101 